Life Updates +Struggles

Okay, so it’s been quite some time since I’ve been on here. A LOT has happened in the last few weeks.

  • We moved to Tallahassee! In my previous post about moving I touched on the importance of flexibility and adaptability when moving. Originally we had planned to load the truck on a Friday, and then drive to Tallahassee and unpack the truck, so then we could unpack most of our stuff on Sunday before heading to the beach. WELL, despite all of the pre-planning and deliverables, Friday night still managed to take longer than expected. By the end of the night we were dead tired, and still had more to do on Saturday. So yours truly came up with the brilliant idea of “hey, let’s just get to Tallahassee on Saturday. Stay with KF’s parents on Saturday night, and then worry about unloading the truck on Sunday.” That is exactly what we did and exercising some flexibility made all the difference for both logistics and support.
  • On Sunday we unloaded the truck with the help of some friends and then managed to unpack about 75% of the house before heading to the beach!
  • We spent five days in Destin and really didn’t do very much. We did some shopping, eating, and hot tubbing. It was unusually cold that week so I never even dipped my toes in the ocean! But man, it was relaxing. We hardly took any pictures because the whole week was about truly “unplugging” from life.
  • I turned 30 and have been hitting the gym since we got back from Destin. There’s a really awesome fitness studio in Tallahassee that I belonged to before I moved away. The studio focuses on group classes full of TRX, rowers, realryders, vipers, bosus, and beyond. I really love it there and I’m so glad I joined; being surrounded by a group of people enduring the same misery really pushes me to keep up. I definitely push harder in a group setting than working out by myself.
  • My eating has been really, really terrible. Let me explain, I don’t believe that foods or “good” or “bad.” I don’t believe in “cheat meals.” I think all of that crap is bullshit, honestly. I think it creates a really poor relationship with food. My relationship with food has been something I’ve struggled with for years… For some periods of time I’ve been completely okay, eating healthily with regular exercise and zero concern. But at other points in time, I’ve struggled with both under-eating and overeating. I’ve been unhappy with my weight for about five years now. As of lately I’ve been struggling overeating… I’ve really felt a lack of control. Not just a lack of discipline, but a lack of willpower and even concern. I’ve continued to gain weight, and of course, feel worse about myself for it. It’s a vicious cycle and I feel it’s getting worse. I’ve “tried” every diet, every fitness program. I’m ALWAYS on “something new.” I never stick to it. It never works. My weight has fluctuated between the same five pounds over the last two years. But lately it’s been at the higher end and today when I stepped on the scale it read a number I’ve never seen before. At first I said to myself “maybe I’m gaining muscle from the workouts?” and then I said “no, it’s probably all the cake you ate yesterday.” I ate two slices of mother’s day cake yesterday. One slice would have been totally fine, two was a bit more than I needed. But then I went home and later ate two giant cupcakes simply because they were in the house.

I’m sharing this here, on this platform, because this is my reality. This is my struggle, and I can only hope that sharing it will give me some accountability. Real accountability to effect real change. I don’t want to be on a program, diet, or challenge now or ever again. I just want to eat whole, natural foods in proportions that make my body feel its best. I want to couple that with regular exercise while still enjoying the rest of life.

Today is May 15, 2017, and I’m starting off with eliminating added sugars and processed starches. It’s going to be a process; this is the first step. I’ve done it before so I have to believe I can do it again.

STEP 1: Eliminate added sugars. So obviously no sweet treats but also no honey, no stevia, nothing that tastes sweet (beyond moderate servings of fruit).

STEP 2: Eliminate all processed starches. Grains, breads, baked goods, etc.

FOCUS: Meat, veggies, and hydration!

Thanks for reading.

-Jenny

 

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