Self Expression

I follow a handful of bloggers and listen to their podcasts daily (some have years of backlog that I continue to get caught up on. Shoutout: balancedbites). I go through bouts of YouTube obsession. The whole industry of following people; of people making a livelihood simply from your interest in THEM is really fascinating. They might also write books, give lectures, or what have you but they are successful because they built an online presence at the right time. And everyone I follow is legit. As in, they can afford to shop at WholeFoods on the regular or BUY their juice daily. They travel around the world, stay in the hotels that others dream of, and often take helicopters for recreation or as a legitimate means of transportation. Legit bloggers, lucrative influencers.

I am not legit. Not like that anyway. I have some skills, none of which I have really been able to market into anything lucrative yet. I own a blog, I think. I mean I currently own the domain. I pay for hosting, and I threw some money at WordPress in order to get it looking the way I wanted. No I don’t know how to code. Don’t judge. Seriously, I don’t even want to hear it. Sometimes paying for convenience ends up paying for itself.

For months I had been throwing around the idea of starting a blog or vlog but really had no idea what it would be about, or what it would even be called. I enjoy travel, but I’m limited in the amount of travel I can do seeing as how I have a regular job with regular expectations and regular leave allowances. I love to adventure in the kitchen and work up new dishes, but I hate measuring things or following directions, so writing recipes is difficult for me. I also have been “ trying” to lose weight for half a decade now and have yet to find any success. Sometimes I work out tons, sometimes I diet, it’s all a wash. To summarize, I hadn’t seen an ounce of weight loss; and thus, never felt legitimate enough to write a blog on fitness, etc.

But then I traveled to see my sister off before she relocated to Thailand. I knew it would be the last time I would see her for several months; sadly an undetermined amount of time. My sister and I have a really unique relationship. We’re not the “best friends” type of sisters. We’re also not the “fight like crazy” type of sisters, either. We grew up on opposite sides of the planet and basically didn’t develop a relationship until I was 12 years old and she was 20… So.. yeah, it’s unique. It comes with its own struggles. But it also has a level of independence that I think we both enjoy. We are both independent people.

Anyway, our time spent together was really special. And that’s when I got the idea for this blog. If nothing else, I thought it would be a good way for us to stay connected. To have something to discuss and work on together, despite our geographic distance and time difference. If you’ve noticed that Jana doesn’t write as often as I do, it’s because she’s busy. I know we’re all busy, but Jana truly has her hands full right now.  Getting the blog up and running was a great project for me, and working on it together since its initial launch has been a great experience for us both. Plus I’m able to dabble in topics that I enjoy at my own experience level! I lust for travel, experiment in the kitchen, and struggle constantly with fatloss… My actual profession is 100% unrelated to any of those topics. But I’m still able to run a blog on all this. I’m able to share the perspective of real struggles and real struggles.

Anyway, I say all of this to say, if you know what you want to do, just do it. You don’t have to best the best at it. You don’t even have to be very good at it. Just go after what you want. Don’t be worried about step two or step ten, just focus on taking that first step. Don’t hold yourself back because of the roadblocks you might face down the line. And definitely don’t be afraid to try something because of a failure haunting you from the past. We have all failed on something at some point. Our failures are the cornerstones of learning and development; you learn a lot more from your failures than your achievements. You shouldn’t let something like money or lack thereof hold you back from doing what you want to do. I mean, seriously! If you can afford internet to be reading this blog post, you have the means to gain momentum. And if you are literally the only person in the world reading this from a public library, then you are savvy enough to open doors others would assume are closed.

I don’t write in this blog because I’m hoping that overnight I’ll magically have a 100,000 followers (I mean…. yes that would be cool). I run this blog because it serves as a platform to keep me connected with my sister…. And truthfully, it serves to keep me connected with myself. No one really, actually reads this (except you), so I can be honest without the fear of judgement. It’s actually a benefit I have over all the famous bloggers I follow; with their success also comes responsibility, criticism and negativity. They have a voice, an image, a brand that needs to be consistent to maintain their following. I’m not saying that I question their integrity, I’m simply pointing out that parts of their own expression may be edited or omitted for business reasons.

My voice is my own. It’s unadulterated, uncensored, and certainly not sponsored. That’s a rather liberating expression of self. So thank you for reading. Because if it weren’t for you, I would just be talking to myself.

Peace, love, and self-expression



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